Così fan tutte

‘That’s what women are like/ The School for Lovers’

Have you ever been through every emotion under the sun resisting that Dairy Milk Oreo all day only to give in to its heavenly sweetness in the wee hours of the morning? The temptation, the resolve, the delicious joy of giving up? #Thestruggleisreal.

This opera is a witty delight, mixing a truly preposterous but very amusing storyline with the genius musical stylings of Mozart. Light, easy to understand and a soundtrack that will knock your socks off.  Go see this in a cinema near you on Monday 17th October. More deets below.

Plot:

The best way I can think to describe this is Wife Swap with a bit of My Best Friend’s Girl. Two guys (Ferrando and Guglielmo) are boasting that their girlfriends (Fiordiligi and Dorabella) are the most loyal out there. Their “friend” (Don Alfonso – a real stirrer) convinces them to put the girls to the test by pretending to go to war, disguising themselves and trying to seduce the other lad’s girl. The shade! Will the ladies prove them wrong?

Famous bits:

‘Soave sia il vento’(Act 1, Scene 7)

The boys go off “to war” and the ladies and Alfonso sing a spectacular trio pleading with nature to keep their lovers’ ship steady and safe on their long journey.

“Soave sia il vento,
Tranquilla sia l’onda,
Ed ogni elemento
Benigno risponda
Ai nostri/vostri desir”

“May the wind be gentle,
the waves be calm,
and all of the elements
smile in favour
on our/your wishes”

This farewell song is stunning and as gentle and soothing as they could ever wish their lovers’ journey to be.

Come scoglio (Act 1, Scene 11)

Fiordiligi is resisting temptation and getting fired up about it.

“Come scoglio immoto resta
Contro i venti e la tempesta,
Così ognor quest’alma è forte
Nella fede e nell’amor”

= “Solid as a rock, me”

Mozart apparently wrote this aria* for a singer he didn’t like but had to use (the perks of being the song writer’s mistress). She used to lean her head back on high notes and tuck her chin in on the low ones… the range quite understandably would’ve made her perform this one like a clucking chicken.

*one person song

Impress a date/ your friends:

• ‘Tutte‘. It’s the ‘e’ at the end of “tutt” that makes this aimed at the ladies. In Italian, to say ‘everyone’s like that’, you say ‘tutti‘ which covers men and women.
• Libretto (lyrics) by Lorenzo Da Ponte, score (music) by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. The duo collaborated on two of Mozart’s other very famous operas: Don Giovanni and The Marriage of Figaro (the sequel to Barber of Seville).
• It was originally enjoyed by Viennese audiences for a short run in 1790 but wasn’t performed much again until the twentieth century because it was “immoral” and thought to be “frivolous” compared to Mozart’s other, more intellectual works. It’s now one of the staples of the opera scene.
• The Penelope reference:
  

  (Act 1, Scene 1 – Don Alfonso)
  E un cenno, un motto, un gesto
  Giurate di non far di tutto questo
  Alle vostre Penelopi.

  = Promise not to let slip about our bet to your ‘Penelopes’.

  Penelope was Odysseus’ wife (oh-diss-ee-ers) in Homer’s Ancient Greek epic poem The Odyssey. Penelope remained faithful to Odysseus for over ten years while he had a very drawn out Homeward Bound (way more death/ misery, much fewer talking dogs), even when she didn’t know if he was still alive.

• The perfect snub for unwanted attention:

(Act 1, Scene 11 – Despina)
Hanno un muso fuor dell’uso,
Vero antidoto d’amor.

= They’re ugly enough to make you swear off love for good

• The best productions of this use a Fortepiano which has an amazing ability to go from very soft to very loud (pianissimo > fortissimo) which adds to the dramatic nuances of the piece. This type of piano is very sensitive and needs to be tuned twice throughout a performance of Così.

Since the dawn of time, men have been trying to fathom the mysteries of the female mind (probably). Hint: you’re not going to win the bet by skipping the “just ask her” part and going straight to “I’ll trick her into revealing her true nature”. Always ends in tears. Unless you secretly wanted to swap girls all along?

It’s not difficult to relate this story to the perils of modern dating. OK, so these guys needed disguises and tricks to tempt the girls (what, were they the only two men in town?) but now you’re only a swipe away from your next best option… maybe take that boast about your boo’s unshaking loyalty with a pinch of (attic?) salt, mmk?

Date for your diary:

The Royal Opera House is screening a live performance of Così in a cinema near you next Monday, 17th October 2016.

Go book yourself a ticket and let me know if you think these lovers have been schooled!